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Apology Pending

At some point in Australia’s future a prime minister will stand before parliament and deliver an apology for this shameful episode in Australia’s history. He or she (News Corp permitting) will talk of the abuse of children in detention, carried out in Australia’s name. They will express profound regret at the passing of laws that are an affront to human rights and the medical profession’s duty of care.

More like India

Here are the pros and cons of Australia becoming more like India.

Pros: Gina Rinehart has less red tape to worry about, making it easier for her to increase her $15.5 billion fortune.

Cons: The average Australian wage decreases from $87,700 to $1,950. Infant mortality increases from 0.3% to 4.1%. Child malnutrition goes from effectively 0% to 30.7%. The number of people living in poverty increases from 13.9% to 29.8%. Public debt increases from 29.8% to 66.7% of GDP and life expectancy drops by 16 years.

Conclusion of Gina’s book: The pros far outweigh the cons.

The Idiot Wind Blows No Good

Idiot wind, blowing every time you move your mouth
Blowing down the backroads headin' south
Idiot wind, blowing every time you move your teeth
You're an idiot, babe
It's a wonder that you still know how to breathe

A Guide to Owning Your Own Home

The Louise Abbott four step guide to owning your own home:
1. Get your dad to become Prime Minister.
2. Once your dad is Prime Minister ask him to use his influence to secure you a high paying job in the Department of Foreign Affairs.
3. Have your dad sack one third of the public service, resulting in house prices in Canberra remaining steady due to all the former public servents moving out.
4. Buy a house in Canberra.

Congratulations, you have now become a first time home owner without the need for government handouts or entitlements.

No experience necessary

"If you've got a good job and it pays good money and you have security in relation to that job, then you can go to the bank and you can borrow money and that's readily affordable."
- Treasurer Joe Hockey's advice on how to buy a house

Looking for a good job that pays good money? Worried you lack the experience/qualifications necessary to get that job? Can't be arsed working very hard? Why not apply for the position of Federal Treasurer?

Groupthink and Unpopular Truths Among The Socialists

Several months ago I recently engaged in an initially slightly cheeky (FB) response to an IS (International Socialists) advocate on Facebook. The article itself was a rather idealistic perspective that Lenin's approach to party organisation is what led the Bolsheviks not to fall into line (as other social democratic parties) into supporting their national capitalist classes in the First World War and lead a succesful revolution.

Feck Off Grahame Morris!

“The trigger was a vote in Ireland. Now I love the Irish, the parliament is full of Irishmen but, these are people who can’t grow potatoes, who have a mutant lawn weed as their national symbol and they can’t verbalise the difference between tree and the number three. And then all of a sudden, Australia has to follow suit.”

- Liberal Party Adviser Grahame Morris

Happy Mabo Day!

Join Us at Federation Square Melbourne (corner of Flinders & Swanston St) at 12:00pm to celebrate the 23rd Anniversary of the historic High Court judgement delivered on the 3rd June 1992 that recognised Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders had rights to land in law because of their prior occupation of this land.

Mabo Day - Wednesday 3rd June 2015

Why Celebrate Mabo Day?

Not actually for sale

News just to hand: Treasurer Smokin’ Joe Hockey has won his defamation case against Fairfax Media. Hockey has been awarded $200,000 in compensation, which should help cover a couple of weeks rent in one of his wife’s Canberra properties before he claims it back off the tax-payer.

The Australian Oath of Allegiance.

“I, ...., do swear that I will be faithful and bear true allegiance to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, Her heirs and successors according to law. So Help Me God.”

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