You are here

richard.obrien's blog

Barrie Cassidy's satire

In what I at first assumed to be satire Barrie Cassidy has called for Scott Morrison to be given unprecedented powers to fight terrorism, lining him up as our next PM.

Coalition Government School for the Entitled

Coalition Government School for the Entitled
Class of 2014 Report Card
Teacher: Mr Abbott

Julie Bishop
Subject: Geography
Being the only girl in class Julie really brightens up the room. Keep it up Julie. A

Joe Hockey
Subject: Economics
Joe has worked hard at his maths this year and can now calculate the distance covered if a car travels at 20 miles per hour for 30 minutes, provided it isn't being driven by a poor person. Good work Joe. A

Military strikes against ISIS

President Obama today announced increased military strikes against ISIS. This amounts to extending the current strategy in Iraq of air strikes against ISIS strongholds and providing arms, training and money to ISIS's opponents into Syria. The decision to extend operations into Syria brings in some new players, and the need for a new Coalition of the Willing (or whatever they're calling it this time).

Freezing Superannuation

Last week the Abbott government made the decision to freeze compulsory superannuation contributions at 9.5% for at least the next 7 years. This decision means that by 2025 there will be $128 billion less deposited into superannuation. That’s $128 billion less to fund people’s retirement, $128 billion extra in age pensions coming out of welfare, $128 billion cut from schools, hospitals and government services to pay for it.

ISIS and Refugees

A few weeks ago Hamid Kehazaei, a 24 year old asylum seeker on Manus Island, cut his foot. Due to the Government’s cruel and petty practice of denying basic medical care to detainees the injury was left untreated. While a dab of antiseptic and a band aid was the only act of compassion required to save this man’s life, Hamid received no medical attention until he developed advanced septicaemia at which point he was airlifted to an Australian hospital where he died on arrival.

The Age of Political Entitlement

The base salary of a backbencher in the Australian parliament is $195,130. This is 2.8 times the average annual wage in Australia, making them among the highest paid politicians in the world.
The average annual increase on an MP’s base salary is 6.9%. Additionally MPs receive an electorate allowance between $32,000 and $46,000 (depending on the size of their electorate). This is treated as taxable income with the MP allowed to pocket whatever they don’t spend.

Acceptable Excuses

The government now wants to limit the list of acceptable excuses for not attending a job interview to the following:
1. Bushfire
2. Serious illness or the death of a family member
3. You were the victim of an assault (provided it took place in the last 24 hours)
The list of acceptable reasons for the Prime Minister not attending an interview include:
1. Labor
2. Terrorism
3. Can't be arsed
4. Dropped in at a cancer hospital so I could claim expenses from the taxpayer for attending a Liberal party fundraiser the night before

Workplace Terrorism

Since September 11 2001, approximately 3,520 people have died due to workplace related injuries in Australia. This figure excludes deaths due to disease, conservatively estimated at 2,000 per annum.

No additional funding was allocated for OH&S in the last budget. Despite a decline in workplace deaths in recent years the Abbott government is considering scaling back current OH&S legislation and abolishing Safe Work Australia as part of its promise to Australian businesses to cut red tape.

Beyond Kidneys

"We're not exactly asking for their left kidney"
-Christopher Pyne in response to protests against proposed increases to university fees.

The average amount you can expect to sell your kidney for on the black market is $5,000 (http://www.havocscope.com/black-market-prices/organs-kidneys/).

Proceeds of Crimes

During the last state election the Liberal Party promised to establish an independent anti-corruption body in Victoria, modelled on ICAC in NSW. Instead they gave us the Independent Broad-based Anti-corruption Commission (IBAC). IBAC can only investigate allegations of corruption where it has evidence that ''a proscribed indictable offence might have been committed''. It is also restricted to only investigating ''serious corrupt conduct''.

Pages

Subscribe to RSS - richard.obrien's blog