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ISIS and Refugees

A few weeks ago Hamid Kehazaei, a 24 year old asylum seeker on Manus Island, cut his foot. Due to the Government’s cruel and petty practice of denying basic medical care to detainees the injury was left untreated. While a dab of antiseptic and a band aid was the only act of compassion required to save this man’s life, Hamid received no medical attention until he developed advanced septicaemia at which point he was airlifted to an Australian hospital where he died on arrival.

The Age of Political Entitlement

The base salary of a backbencher in the Australian parliament is $195,130. This is 2.8 times the average annual wage in Australia, making them among the highest paid politicians in the world.
The average annual increase on an MP’s base salary is 6.9%. Additionally MPs receive an electorate allowance between $32,000 and $46,000 (depending on the size of their electorate). This is treated as taxable income with the MP allowed to pocket whatever they don’t spend.

Acceptable Excuses

The government now wants to limit the list of acceptable excuses for not attending a job interview to the following:
1. Bushfire
2. Serious illness or the death of a family member
3. You were the victim of an assault (provided it took place in the last 24 hours)
The list of acceptable reasons for the Prime Minister not attending an interview include:
1. Labor
2. Terrorism
3. Can't be arsed
4. Dropped in at a cancer hospital so I could claim expenses from the taxpayer for attending a Liberal party fundraiser the night before

Workplace Terrorism

Since September 11 2001, approximately 3,520 people have died due to workplace related injuries in Australia. This figure excludes deaths due to disease, conservatively estimated at 2,000 per annum.

No additional funding was allocated for OH&S in the last budget. Despite a decline in workplace deaths in recent years the Abbott government is considering scaling back current OH&S legislation and abolishing Safe Work Australia as part of its promise to Australian businesses to cut red tape.

Beyond Kidneys

"We're not exactly asking for their left kidney"
-Christopher Pyne in response to protests against proposed increases to university fees.

The average amount you can expect to sell your kidney for on the black market is $5,000 (

Proceeds of Crimes

During the last state election the Liberal Party promised to establish an independent anti-corruption body in Victoria, modelled on ICAC in NSW. Instead they gave us the Independent Broad-based Anti-corruption Commission (IBAC). IBAC can only investigate allegations of corruption where it has evidence that ''a proscribed indictable offence might have been committed''. It is also restricted to only investigating ''serious corrupt conduct''.

Dirty Laundry

Like Joe Hockey I too belong to the sacred brotherhood of men who do their own laundry and I cannot begin to explain to my uninitiated brethren how much insight and understanding of the average Australian one gains from the loading and operating a washing machine. The fact that Joe makes the effort to wash, as well as possibly fold and put on his own undies has been blatantly ignored by a biased media intent on misrepresenting his values.

Budget Alternatives

Here are a few ideas to get you started Tony.
Abolish negative gearing and Capital Gains Tax breaks - $36 billion per annum.
Close Immigration detention centres - $8 billion (plus about that much again in expenses Scott Morrison hasn't tabled)
Fix loopholes in the mining tax - $35 billion
Reverse Hockey's decision to end all ATO investigations into illegal tax havens and fraudulent practices - $27 billion
Close superannuation tax loopholes - $24 billion
End subsidies to mining and the fossil fuel industry - $15 billion

Of Tax and Welfare

Last week Andrew Forrest proposed that all people receiving welfare payments, including sickness and disability support, should have their incomes managed by the government. Forrest, like the Government, argues that spending has gotten out of control. He, like the Government, has got his maths wrong.

Welfare as a percentage of government expenditure has fallen in the last decade. The number of people on welfare in Australia is the lowest it has been in 17 years. Apart for the age pension all areas of welfare dependency in Australia are decreasing. So why the emergency?

The End of the Carbon Tax

Well that's it ladies and gentlemen. The day we spent three years turning the Australian political landscape into a circus for. The day when the promise that catapulted Tony Abbott and his band of merry thugs, loons and psychopaths into government was fulfilled. The repeal of the carbon tax.


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