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Worst Health Minister

Congratulations to Peter Dutton for being voted worst health minister in living memory. A poll of 1,100 readers of the politically conservative Australian Doctor magazine has rated Dutton head and shoulders below his predecessors (who include Tony Abbott) with one reader describing him as “the dullest, least innovative and most gullible” member of the government.

Being part of a government that sets impossibly low benchmarks for dullness, lack of innovation and gullibility, this would have to rank as Dutton’s greatest political achievement, in fact it’s his only achievement. During his thirteen years in parliament Dutton has set standards for laziness and indifference that would put most bong smokers to shame. Finally Dutton's listlessness has received the recognition he so thoroughly deserves.

Dutton's unblemished record of lethargy was seriously threatened by the government's attempt to pass a $7 GP co-payment earlier this year. While a less experienced freeloading front bencher may have been tempted to abandon their dormancy and expend valuable energy on attempting to deceive, threaten or bribe the parliament into passing such unfair and unpopular legislation, Dutton found an easier way. He simply bypassed our elected parliament, ignored advice from experts and cut Medicare payments to GPs, effectively giving us a $20 co-payment for consultations under 10 minutes.

Unfortunately Peter Dutton was unavailable for comment as he couldn't be stuffed making one. While his tenure may have been short, Australians will fondly remember their most inert health minister every time they reach into their wallets at the doctor's, or find themselves waiting hours past their appointment time as everyone before them tries to stretch their visit past 10 minutes. A man who, despite his moribund disposition, achieved more towards the destruction of Medicare in just 15 months than a psychopath like Tony Abbott could achieve in 4 years.

Well done Pete, keep up the lack of good work!

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