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The National Association of Retired Sporting Dickheads Media Realease

The National Association of Retired Sporting Dickheads (NARSD) proudly stands by comments made by its members Shane Warne, Jason Ackermanis and Sam Newman in condemning the behaviour of Adam Goodes. Warne, Ackermanis and Newman are three of the NARSDs longest serving and most highly regarded dickheads. These three gentlemen are recognised among the nation’s top experts in identifying inappropriate behaviour both on and off the field, having conducted themselves throughout their sporting and media careers in a manner consistent with the values of retired sporting dickhead legend and founding member Arthur Tunstall.

NARSD is appalled by the recent behaviour of Adam Goodes and firmly believes he owes both NARSD and the nation as a whole a sincere and heart-felt apology for his unacceptable accusations of racism against some AFL supporters. NARSD believes that while the recent booing of Adam Goodes is in no way whatsoever racist, Goodes’ condemnation of that behaviour demonstrates a complete disregard for the Aussie tradition of fans racially taunting opposition players in a perfectly reasonable, and totally not racist, attempt to put them off their game.

It is all well and good for someone to win 2 Brownlow Medals, 2 Premiership Medals, 3 Bob Skilton Medals, 4 All Australian Selections, 3 Club Leading Goal Kicker awards, an AFL Rising Star award, selection in the Indigenous Team of the Century, Captaincy of the Sydney Swans and International Rules Teams and Australian of the Year, but what has Adam Goodes done to earn the respect of football fans? Where has he demonstrated the humility, good-grace and acceptance of personal responsibility for his actions so clearly exemplified by Messrs Warne, Ackermanis and Newman?

As an Indigenous man Adam Goodes cannot possibly comprehend the hurt and humiliation experienced by white Australians as a result of being called out for flippant, off-the-cuff remarks yelled anonymously from the safety of a large crowd. It is time for Adam Goodes to man up and accept that the expectation that Indigenous people be treated with respect and dignity has no place in Australian sport. Adam Goodes needs to stop harping on about his 40,000 to 50,000 year old heritage and embrace modern Australia, a land of opportunities where retired sporting dickheads can overcome their lack of verbal and intellectual skills by forging a career airing their opinions in the media.

While disappointed in Adam Goodes’ behaviour NARSD remains hopeful that an apology will help put this controversy to rest. Our Chief Media Officer, Wayne Carey, will be happy to assist in drafting a sincere expression of regret.

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