2018 Victorian Election Guide

A partially objective guide to minor parties running in the 2018 Victorian election

Animal Justice Party

The Animal Justice Party “gives a political voice to those who have none”. Kind of like the Human Justice Party, only for animals, and they’re a thing.

Aussie Battler Party

I’ve been cynical about the term “Aussie Battler” since Howard took ownership of it in 1996. Conservative middle-class fear of crime, race, and environmentalism dressed up as the genuine concerns of people who are struggling to get by. Trailer park Republicanism used to fill the front pages of the Murdoch Tabloids which encourage division and blame.

However, a closer look at the Aussie Battler Party’s policies reveals…oh wait….so, moving on…

Australian Conservatives

A political party led by Cory Bernardi and consisting of Cory Bernardi and former director of the Australian Christian Lobby, Lyle Shelton. The party represents a broad range of Cory Bernardi and Lyle Shelton.

Australian Country Party

Formerly known as the Country Alliance, then the Australian Country Alliance, then the Australian Country Party, then the Australian Country Party/Give it Back. This was abbreviated to the Australia Party before they decided to go back to calling themselves the Australian Country Party. This can also be abbreviated by dropping the last three syllables.

While divided on what to call themselves, the Australian Country Party (or ACP if Steve gets his motion up) all agree on one thing, they are not called the bloody National Party.

Australian Liberty Alliance

Nazis

Democratic Labour Party

Formed in 1955 after conservative Catholic anti-communist members split from the Labor Party, the DLP helped keep the ALP out of government for the next 17 years before voting to dissolve itself in 1978.

For reasons that have never been fully explained the party reformed in time for the 2006 Victorian election. They won an upper house seat in 2006 and 2014, and federally in 2010, with primary votes of 2.5%, 2.6% and 2.33% respectively, thanks to preference deals.

Today the DLP is no longer a party dominated by Catholic bigots, with many evangelical and fundamentalist Protestant bigots joining the party in recent years.

Derryn Hinch’s Justice Party

A party who believe in justice and prioritising jail sentences over rehabilitation. They are led by a man who has been convicted of contempt of court and incarcerated three times. He is now a member of parliament on a $200K taxpayer-funded salary, plus expenses.

Fiona Patten’s Reason Party

Fiona Patten was elected on in 2014 with 2.6% of the vote. Originally the Sex Party, she re-registered it as the Reason Party to broaden their appeal to “reasonable” voters. Whether there are more “reasonable” voters not voting for someone else than there are people who like voting for a party with “sex” in the title remains to be seen.

Since 2014, Patten has instigated physician-assisted dying laws, an inquiry into drug reform, legalisation on ridesharing (Uber) and a bill for a medically supervised injecting and pill testing centre.

The Reason Party appear to the positioning themselves as the new Australian Democrats, as evidenced by their recruitment last year of Laura Chipp, daughter of Australian Democrats founder Don Chipp.

Health Australia Party

Anti-Vaxxers.

Hudson for Northern Victoria

Basically an Independent called Josh Hudson with running mates. H4NV’s website describes Hudson as being “focused on Northern Victoria” and his policies as “non-controversial”. Which is reassuring as that’s the only mention they get.

Liberal Democrats

Called the Liberal Democrats because it rolls off the tongue better than David Leyonhjelm’s Gun-Toting Libertarian Party for Entitled White Men. Their one redeeming feature is that Mark Latham didn’t find them batshit crazy enough to stay.

Shooters, Fishers and Farmers Party

A party representing shooters, including those shooters who might fish and/or farm. They want to get rid of the National Firearms Agreement. The downside to this is that is could reverse the 59% drop in gun-related homicides and a 65% drop in gun-related suicides we’ve seen since the laws were introduced. On the plus side, the firearms importers who bankroll them are will make a lot more money.

Sustainable Australia

Sustainable Australia addresses the difficult question of how to tackle anthropogenic climate change with the simple solution of blaming immigration.

Transport Matters Party

Co-founded by Rod Barton and André Baruch, a pair of hire car operators opposed to the deregulation of the taxi and hire car industry. Transport Matters Party membership consists almost entirely of taxi drivers and taxi license owners involved in a class action lawsuit against Uber for loss of income.

The party has no policies on any other form of transport in Victoria.

Victorian Socialists

With its roots in the earlier Chartist movement, Victorian socialism emerged in the 1880s as a critique of laissez-faire capitalism. The Victorian socialist movement soon split into three distinct groups, represented by the Social Democratic Federation, the Fabian Society and the ethical socialists who inspired the formation of the Independent Labour Party…sorry, wrong Wikipedia page.

The Victorian Socialists are an alliance of socialist parties. Their policies include changing the Victorian flag to the Eureka flag, more public housing, a five-year freeze on rent increases, free public transport, childcare and pre-school and a lot of other stuff we might have already had if solidarity hadn’t eluded them since the 1880s.

Voluntary Euthanasia Party

Pretty much says it all in the title. The party supports voluntary euthanasia, as do around 85% of Victorians but considerably less elected representatives whose job is to legislate on it.

Vote 1 Local Jobs

Founded by James Purcell, a councilor and mayor of the Shire of Moyne, who won the last spot in the Legislative Council for the Western Victoria Region with 1.26% of the vote in 2014.

Vote 1 Local Jobs s mainly concerned with employment issues in Victoria's Western District. They also support jumps racing and an exemption for religious institutions to deny same-sex couples access to adoption.

James Purcell is an opponent of foreign ownership/investment and the “dumping” of foreign products in Australia. He is also the owner of Zhangjiagang Copper, a bronze foundry in China.

The Gun Lobby

While not actually running any candidates in the election, they are funding the “Not. Happy. Dan.” campaign which urges voters to “put Labor last”.

Supported by the NRA and led by Bob Katter's son-in-law, the Shooting Industry Foundation of Australia (Sifa) also campaigned in the Queensland election campaign using the slogan 'Flick 'Em" which urged voters to put the major parties last.

Neither campaign makes any mention of firearms. Their strategy is to encourage voter support for minor parties resulting in a weak state government, reliant on at the support of a mixed crossbench, who Sifa can pressure into relaxing existing gun laws.

Happy voting.

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