US Election Big Takeways

DEMS WIN THE HOUSE. The next two years will be very different from the last two. We're not out of the woods yet, but at least we've found a path.

Texas: For the last ten years, I've been telling people that Texas is going to become a swing state, and that it's going to redefine national politics when it happens. Ten years ago, no one took me seriously. Then Wendy Davis mounted a prominent (yet very unsuccessful) bid for governor. Then Hillary Clinton performed better in Texas than she did in Ohio. Now Beto O'Rourke has come within a few points of unseating a deeply entrenched Texas senator. Mark my words, Texas will be purple, and it will change everything when it finally happens.

Kansas Governor: Kris Kobach, who never met a vote he didn't want to suppress, lost soundly to a Democratic woman.

Virginia House, District 7: This seat was once held by Eric Cantor, and we sincerely believed there was no way anyone worse could ever hold it. Then, Cantor was successfully challenged from the right by David Brat. Now, David Brat has been beaten by a Democratic woman.

California Senate: A year ago, Kevin de Leon stood on the brink of greatness. He had a perfect opportunity to run for Lt. Governor, which would have positioned him to eventually become the state's first Latino Governor. Instead, he decided to run against one of the most senior people in the US Senate, who was already ancient when Kevin de Leon was in diapers, who was present at the founding of Fort Sutter and a close personal friend of John Muir, whose name is uttered with bated breath as part of arcane rituals and ancient incantations. Kevin de Leon has likewise been soundly beaten by a Democratic woman.

Local races: Still too early to tell with these. Initial results show that the existing establishments are doing well in Concord and Walnut Creek, but less so in Martinez. It looks like these will be a pretty mixed bag.

California Ballot Props:

Props 1-4, to allow the state to sell bonds for various things: These all pass except for Prop 3, which was poorly written.

Prop 5, to have young renters subsidize the mortgages of elderly homeowners: Goes right in the trash bin where it belongs.

Prop 6, to eliminate transportation funding: Follows Prop 5 into the trash bin,

Prop 7, to banish the sun and plunge the Earth into eternal darkness: Passes for some reason.

Prop 8, to ḫ̦̭̹͚͈͎̀͑̃͆͆̆͑a̳̬̥̣ͣ͛ͬ͒̅m͈͔ͮ̽͛͋͐͆͠n͊҉͓̮͓̯̲a҉̲̩͎ ̦̰̙̅ͩw̌ͩͭ͐ͫ̾a̼͇̗͕̞͌̌ͅt̴̪̳͓̺̺̤̞͂̔̆̍̒ͨu̯̤̪̲̤̳ ̱̤͎̭̼̬͉͛̃̎̅ͣ̕h̬̹̞̤̻͕̥ͯͮḁ̾ͯ́̌̂̎̐w̢a̗̯̦ͨͫͩ̍ͅe͔͛ḻ͇̟̤̳̂́ͧe̼̫͙͓͉̍ͣ̾̒̑w̘͇̝̫̯̗͆͜ͅi̫̺͂̈́ ̵͖̝̯͚͈̄̂̄̉̚s͍ͤ̎̓̒̓ͣ͝h̵̪̣̖̆ͧ̓e̸r̬̺͙͇̘̳ͦͮ̂̌̀ͦ̚i̳͓͕̮ả̶̺͇̦̊͋́͛͂ ̘ͫ͠h̷͎̰̞̏͆i̴̥͍̦̊͋̊͗i̥̤͈͉̠̭̔: Rejected for being incomprehensible.

Prop 9: Was intentionally left blank.

Prop 10, to allow local communities to set their own laws about rent control: Soundly rejected, but the fight goes on.

Prop 11, to screw over ambulance drivers and exempt their employers from paying a court-ordered settlement: Passes with flying colors.

Prop 12, to improve the treatment of farm animals other than chickens: Passes, demonstrating once again why humanity will be the first against the wall when the chicken revolution comes.

Mashall Lewis, November 7

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