Introducing Australia’s newest political party - the Laboral Hypocrats.
Are you sick of all the talk of political correctness, feminism, asylum seekers, safe schools and multiculturalism?
So are we!
In fact if we have to listen to one more rant from that right-wing, self-aggrandizing, dickhead Mark Latham banging on about any of those subjects one more time, we’re calling him a taxi.
Just because someone has the right to an opinion – regardless of how misguided, prejudiced or psychologically unstable – doesn’t mean they have the right to be heard.
That’s why the Laboral Hypocrats are committed to defending the most important freedom we have in Australia – Freedom from Speech.
The Laboral Hypocrats will fight to defend the freedom of all Australians to not have to put up with every racist, misogynist, homophobic, Islamaphobic, attention-seeking jerk repeating the same misanthropic crap, day in and day out.
Under a Laboral Hypocrat government - whinging about being shouted down, stifled by political correctness and ‘reverse racism’ – will no longer be legitimate grounds for defence against criticism.
The Laboral Hypocrats will ensure that all hateful and divisive opinions are stuck exactly where they belong by requiring all public figures, and Sam Newman, to sign the Self-importance Time Free Undertaking (STFU).
The STFU will ensure that opinions expressed in a public forum may be subject to ridicule, disregard and being labelled “bullshit” without fear of the detractor being persecuted under Freedom of Speech laws.
The Laboral Hypocrats are more than just a single issue party.
We believe in the science of human induced climate change – anyone one who wants to argue against us is welcome to debate all 97 of our environmental spokespersons.
The Laboral Hypocrats are committed to a national telecommunications network that lets you phone someone who cares.
The Laboral Hypocrats also have a strong animal welfare policy. We believe that the STFU system should not only apply to people, but also to the horses they rode in on.
So next election don’t be browbeaten by some has-been politician, Murdoch hack or wannabe satirist on Facebook – Vote Laboral Hypocrat!